Marienville Book I Snip
(This section does contain scenes of family violence)
My birthday came in May, and there was trouble at our house because dad wanted money from grandma and I heard her tell him “No.” I don’t think dad cared one way or the other about the money, he only did what she told him to do, and she thought they needed it.
Still, I didn’t like him.
I had a birthday card on the table when I came home from school with my name written on it in block print. She was at the table and said “Happy Birthday.” Dad was in the living room.
“This is from your father and me,” she said. Your grandmother wants you to stop over; she has a present for you. Open your card.”
I did.
“Happy Birthday Sam. Love, Mom and Dad.” In it were three crumpled one-dollar bills. One of them was torn nearly in two. I knew this was performance art though, so I forced a smile, said “Thank you,” she nodded as if she were royalty and had just given me part of her kingdom. As quickly as I could, I was out the door and on my way to my grandmother’s house.
I got a couple of cards at school, one from Lisa, and another from a girl on the Y Swim Team. Inside Lisa’s was this small fuzzy animal with a heart on it.
My grandmother had bought me a new fly rod. She had seen me out her window with Edward out in his backyard practicing. While I was at grandma’s house, dad pulled up with her. I could see my grandmother tense. She turned to me and said, “Go next door Sam, and take this with you.”
I didn’t get out quick enough.
She asked, “What did you get Sam?”
I showed her the fly rod, and she nodded her head, slowly.
Dad turned to his mother and said, “How much was that?”
“None of your business.”
“I asked you if I could borrow $200.00 and you said ‘No,’ but you bought him that fly rod.”
I didn’t want to hear all this, but dad was in front of the door, so I tried to just blend into the wall.
“And I told you no more money, period. How many thousands of dollars have I given you? How many did your father give you, for this idea or that? Each time he did, he hoped that whatever the venture was, it would be successful. And it wasn’t. Time and time again, you failed. It would be one thing if you had actually went out, did what you said you were going to do with it, stuck with it, and then it failed. That I could understand because at least you tried. You couldn’t even do that.”
I could see her eyes narrowing, and slowly she turned to look at me. I looked away.
But grandma continued, “What do you do with it? What have you had? Ten, fifteen, twenty thousand dollars over the years? Thank God your son isn’t like that, he has a small business going that he works all the time.”
There it was.
Outed..
Now I began to tremble.
I think she realized what she had done, but it was too late. She didn’t mean to do it, she was angry at him.
All the lies I had told.
I felt like I was standing in front of all of them, naked.
Now her look changed, and she nodded her head slowly at me.
“Let him out ,” she said to him, “and Sam, put your rod in the car, we’ll take it home for you.”
Out the door I went, the rod came apart in two pieces, and I made a dash for Edward’s house. He wasn’t home, Sadie said he’d be late tonight, but he had a gift for me. She could see I was upset, but I didn’t tell her why.
I knew what was coming, but there was nowhere to go.
Desperation and fear, the two feelings I knew the most about went into overdrive.
They had left, Edward wasn’t home, and the bank was closed. I thought that if I went to the bank, took all the money I had made out, and gave it to them, I could stop what was going to happen. No matter how slowly I walked home or when I came in the door, she would be waiting.
She was.
“Did you like what happened to your father tonight?”
“Did you like what your grandmother said to him? Do you like to see him embarrassed?”
“And you? Working all this time, and how many times did I ask? And each time you said ‘No.’”
I didn’t even it see it coming, the fly rod was in her hand and it crashed across my face. I fell out of the chair I was sitting in, while she shrieked, “Liar! Liar! You fucking liar!” The rod swung again, this time across my back as she yelled at my dad, “Pull his goddamn shirt off!” My shirt ripped off, my back was bare, and the fly rod continued to crash across me.
Dad grabbed me by my belt, and the front of my jeans tore. I was on my back, but I rolled quickly to my stomach, jeans partway down in the back. She must have enjoyed what she was doing because she just kept making it rain.
And then fly rod snapped.
In all it probably lasted three minutes, there were tears on my face, but not a sob, not a fucking sound.
I stood up, looked at her, she was breathing hard and wore that smirk on her face. My back hurt like hell, my face was bruised and no amount makeup was going to cover that up. The skin was broke on my back in several places, and there were a couple of welts on my lower back.
I walked out of the house, and she shrieked, “Where are you going?”
I turned and screamed back, “Just FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU BOTH! I fucking HATE YOU!” And was gone.
This is the place where things go that I'm working on, editing, frustrated with, pissed off at myself over, or just to remind myself how bad I am.
This is the place where things go that I'm working on, editing, frustrated with, pissed off at myself over, or just to remind myself how bad I am.
Marienville Book I Snip
(This section does contain scenes of family violence)
My birthday came in May, and there was trouble at our house because dad wanted money from grandma and I heard her tell him “No.” I don’t think dad cared one way or the other about the money, he only did what she told him to do, and she thought they needed it.
Still, I didn’t like him.
I had a birthday card on the table when I came home from school with my name written on it in block print. She was at the table and said “Happy Birthday.” Dad was in the living room.
“This is from your father and me,” she said. Your grandmother wants you to stop over; she has a present for you. Open your card.”
I did.
“Happy Birthday Sam. Love, Mom and Dad.” In it were three crumpled one-dollar bills. One of them was torn nearly in two. I knew this was performance art though, so I forced a smile, said “Thank you,” she nodded as if she were royalty and had just given me part of her kingdom. As quickly as I could, I was out the door and on my way to my grandmother’s house.
I got a couple of cards at school, one from Lisa, and another from a girl on the Y Swim Team. Inside Lisa’s was this small fuzzy animal with a heart on it.
My grandmother had bought me a new fly rod. She had seen me out her window with Edward out in his backyard practicing. While I was at grandma’s house, dad pulled up with her. I could see my grandmother tense. She turned to me and said, “Go next door Sam, and take this with you.”
I didn’t get out quick enough.
She asked, “What did you get Sam?”
I showed her the fly rod, and she nodded her head, slowly.
Dad turned to his mother and said, “How much was that?”
“None of your business.”
“I asked you if I could borrow $200.00 and you said ‘No,’ but you bought him that fly rod.”
I didn’t want to hear all this, but dad was in front of the door, so I tried to just blend into the wall.
“And I told you no more money, period. How many thousands of dollars have I given you? How many did your father give you, for this idea or that? Each time he did, he hoped that whatever the venture was, it would be successful. And it wasn’t. Time and time again, you failed. It would be one thing if you had actually went out, did what you said you were going to do with it, stuck with it, and then it failed. That I could understand because at least you tried. You couldn’t even do that.”
I could see her eyes narrowing, and slowly she turned to look at me. I looked away.
But grandma continued, “What do you do with it? What have you had? Ten, fifteen, twenty thousand dollars over the years? Thank God your son isn’t like that, he has a small business going that he works all the time.”
There it was.
Outed..
Now I began to tremble.
I think she realized what she had done, but it was too late. She didn’t mean to do it, she was angry at him.
All the lies I had told.
I felt like I was standing in front of all of them, naked.
Now her look changed, and she nodded her head slowly at me.
“Let him out ,” she said to him, “and Sam, put your rod in the car, we’ll take it home for you.”
Out the door I went, the rod came apart in two pieces, and I made a dash for Edward’s house. He wasn’t home, Sadie said he’d be late tonight, but he had a gift for me. She could see I was upset, but I didn’t tell her why.
I knew what was coming, but there was nowhere to go.
Desperation and fear, the two feelings I knew the most about went into overdrive.
They had left, Edward wasn’t home, and the bank was closed. I thought that if I went to the bank, took all the money I had made out, and gave it to them, I could stop what was going to happen. No matter how slowly I walked home or when I came in the door, she would be waiting.
She was.
“Did you like what happened to your father tonight?”
“Did you like what your grandmother said to him? Do you like to see him embarrassed?”
“And you? Working all this time, and how many times did I ask? And each time you said ‘No.’”
I didn’t even it see it coming, the fly rod was in her hand and it crashed across my face. I fell out of the chair I was sitting in, while she shrieked, “Liar! Liar! You fucking liar!” The rod swung again, this time across my back as she yelled at my dad, “Pull his goddamn shirt off!” My shirt ripped off, my back was bare, and the fly rod continued to crash across me.
Dad grabbed me by my belt, and the front of my jeans tore. I was on my back, but I rolled quickly to my stomach, jeans partway down in the back. She must have enjoyed what she was doing because she just kept making it rain.
And then fly rod snapped.
In all it probably lasted three minutes, there were tears on my face, but not a sob, not a fucking sound.
I stood up, looked at her, she was breathing hard and wore that smirk on her face. My back hurt like hell, my face was bruised and no amount makeup was going to cover that up. The skin was broke on my back in several places, and there were a couple of welts on my lower back.
I walked out of the house, and she shrieked, “Where are you going?”
I turned and screamed back, “Just FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU BOTH! I fucking HATE YOU!” And was gone.